Hello Again

Yes, it is me again. I am back from my hiatus and also back from a recent bout with the current upper respiratory crud going around. Apparently it can go around and around--so be careful out there.

I have puttered here and there making a few changes and wondering what direction the Dresser Drawer will go in the next few months. Especially since the real dresser drawers must be gone through for the purpose of thinning, tossing, packing and passing on must once again take place. Sad to realize that much of what was packed awhile back has never been unpacked -- except when there was a bit of a water situation in the garage and I had to make several boxes suddenly more upwardly mobile. They had to be unpacked and repacked. Ug.

Fall has arrived. Today started with scraping ice off my windshield. Later it was beautifully sunny. Yard work too place--I can still feel it in my hands--the clipper hand is my mouse hand. Tomorrow the front yard needs some help to get ready for winter. There are weeds that think they have earned the right to call themselves bushes...I still call them dandelions--and they must go.

Watering in the Garden

I was in the backyard in the morning yesterday--mostly to clean out and fill the birdbaths... having finished I watered here and there... when it occurred to me that I was committing a crime by watering---there really are that many weeds surrounding the plants in the garden I was watering...sad.

I gave up watering--it brought me dangerously close to weeding--A LOT. So I switched to scooping dog poop--that was something with limits there was only so much of it in the yard. One bucket of it. The weeds would be measured in tons. Oh well, enough with weeds. I moved myself over into the prayer garden and put my feet up awhile. I tried reading, I tried writing...but mostly I found myself looking around. Over and over my eyes left the page, my thoughts wandered. I just needed to breathe. To take in the becomings of the garden and leaves of the Japanese maple, the blooming of the woodruff. It is a place to breathe.

You Capture--Color

Visiting the prayer garden at the church --yes, it was cold down on my hands and knees taking these pictures--it was worth it. Up close each of these showed that pristine new color that new growth does...even on a dark northwest day.

Mediation Garden at the Botanical Garden

Took a fast two day trip to Vancouver B.C. recently. Especially seemed fast since we totally forgot that we had even planned to take this little jaunt away.

The forecast was nothing but rain and grey skies, and I packed too quickly and believed I'd spend more time inside peering out at the city reading and writing. As it turned out, I was exhausted and slept way more than I expected. The one full day we had there was actually not totally wet and we did get out an walk around. I managed a nap between outings. The only real writing I did was to copy my addresses from the back of my last journal to the back of my new journal. I held my journal, I held my pen. And, as it turns out, I held my words.

These pictures are from the meditation garden inside the Fall Color Walk at the VanDusen Botanical Gardens. It was a wonderful place of solitude. It held a healing silence. If I lived in the area I would visit often.

strange or tiny garden sights

Well, the top picture is our garden's version of cauliflower--gone ever so slightly amiss in some very alien way. The second picture is a beautiful, if still unripe, green pepper that a baby snail was unable to pass up. You can see Tiny Snail, as I called him, hunkered down in the fold of the pepper just as happy as can be--if snails are happy. There is something in the swirly shape of the snail shell that has always suggested happiness to me, or if not that, then contentedness at least. I spoke only briefly with the little guy before removing him and sending him 'elsewhere.'

The garden has been slumping down on itself over the last half of the summer. We've had such an unreal heat most of the summer that it kept me from spending much time out there--even less working out in the garden. I did water off and on--a task shared with my sweet baboo--though he focused on the edible plants and I tried to catch the whole back yard. Though I do admit to having sat in the prayer garden a few mornings and enjoyed the quiet, the sun and my cup of coffee and a book... and while I looked at every each of the prayer garden and noted where it needed attention and water...I didn't do it that day. Procrastination.

Last night we started getting some rain, not just drizzle, but some rain. Starting in the evening, through the night and all morning. It has taken until after 2:30 before the sun came out. But it feels like September. Today it does. Who knows about tomorrow. It has the feel of the change of the season.

a dragonfly came to stay

I met a baby dragonfly...I've seen lots of the big variety...but this little one bumbled his way into the prayer garden the other morning and I couldn't have been more charmed by him--or her, I can't say for sure. I don't even now how you tell. I do know there are lots of thoughts as to the symbolism of a dragonfly. Just Google it and find you will find your fill. The one that caught my eye and imagination for today is:

Dragonfly symbolism crosses and combines with

that of the butterfly and change.

Sadly, I could not capture a picture of this beauty--he was so small and seemingly see through except for a titch of blue at the end of the tail and another at the shoulder blades from where the paper thin wings extended--and as luck would have it the favored place to land was on a black rod iron decorative fence. So, you will have to take my word for it. Until you see your own baby dragonfly--I hope it is soon. It does lift your heart to see something so small winging its way around the garden.

a new moment

There is a welcome fresh feel to the garden in the morning after such a hot day yesterday. A fresh feeling of gratitude to be able to sit and write and listen in the garden this morning after waking so early with a migraine and neuralgia...you are just not suppose to start a national holiday with that kind of pain...especially such a noisy holiday!

"There is a calmness to a life lived

in Gratitude, a quiet joy."

-Ralph H. Blum

This is a difficult time of year for me. Still filled with grief that parts my emotions suddenly and pushes its way in--unwanted. There is nothing to it but to recognize and welcome it, ask it what it wants and listen. Then it will be and being heard it will leave...for now.

visiting the 'new' in the same old place

I rode the train! What fun--it had been a few years. I rode the train down south a ways and stayed with an old friend, and made a new friend. Lots of good talk, great food, good walks and a day of pondering, writing, reading, listening, knitting....thanks Snady & Allen!


One interesting 'new thing' was the small Japanese garden on a little island. It had been started when I lived in the area many years ago, but closed soon after it opened because of vandalism. Now it is open and even more expansive I think. Whoever has worked on it has done a wonderful job. It reminded me of my mother who spent time in Japan and brought home an eye for their style of gardens and made use of it in the many gardens she created over the years.


Home now after a day of work--and looking forward to a relaxed evening with the promise of pasta salad made by my sister-in-law and fresh corn on the cob procured by my sweet baboo earlier today at Carpinito Brothers yummy!

lavender buds and poppies start to bloom

Along side our garage we have a bed of California Poppies that are all starting to bloom....these little lavender buds are from the front bed and they greet me coming and going from the front door. This is my favorite time--when there are small seas of orange and the purple is not far behind.

My current favorite afternoon pick-me-up is a homemade iced latte using Starbucks Via (yes, the instant) because I can walk in the house and drop all my stuff, mix an iced latte and wander out to poppies, the prayer garden, the patio or the couch in the living room and read or write for a few minutes before the whole dinner-evening-and-it-is suddenly-bedtime hits all in a rush.

Is it just me or does the change in weather patterns affect others too? As we swing to the warm weather-too hot--suddenly much cooler I get so tired--- Am I getting so old that even the barometer is affecting me? Gads.

Splish-Spash...they were takin' a bath...

This is pretty close to what my birdbath looked like this morning...they really are a riot when it is sunny and the water is clean and crisp. They just go for it. Of course, the fact that in between they are hoping down and fluffing themselves in the dirt...funny I never feel like doing that when I've been in the pool. This morning one little birdie just kept cruising back and forth across the birdbath. It finally jumped up on the ledge and flew up to the fence post to dry itself in the sun.

Anyway, it was a nice way to start the day. Especially a day that will be spent mostly inside in a very artificial environment. I can close my eyes and take a birdie reprieve if necessary.

bloomin' clematis!

This is a close up of the clematis that climbs the backyard fence...I didn't think it would do as well this year since I just did not ever get it cut back after last year. Last year it had a mediocre showing--but it loved the harsh winter and slow spring I guess....because it is as beautiful and full as it has ever been. I could just pull a chair up in front of it and stare, well, sitting on the patio I have basically done just that....My mom is smiling--they were one of her very favorites and if I learned one thing from her it is to keep a large rock over the roots to keep them out of the direct sun....this one's for you Mom!

I like early morning in the garden more than almost any other time of the day...when weather finally permits me out there...I remember it all over again. I take my coffee, a few books and my journal and settle in for awhile. It almost always ends as it did today--with me pulling weeds in with my robe and pj's still on....sitting turns to work and I have to remind myself to sit back down and just look... just listen...just be....the rest of the day will be work enough. These precious moments are for pure inspiration...and breathing.

smiling among spring weeds

I stood and surveyed the prayer garden

you waited patiently among the weeds.

what were you thinking?

reposing

I've been watching out the window as the reclining Buddha has come to be blanketed in tiny white flowers - whose name I cannot recall at this early point of spring... I had to lay down on the patio to take this picture--and the patio was none to thoroughly dry...and the dog was more than slightly interested, and now my ear is more than wet in direct relation to Edward's interest. Today is what I have been waiting for...sun. Can it stay?

We have been wound and wound by the wind and rain this week. The lilac outside my office is worse for the wear. Weary is the word that comes to mind when I look on it. But here at home the lilac is so heavy from rain and equally tossed by the wind. I have gained a wonderful view from the table down stairs that I use for my computer work as it frames the bleeding hearts and lilac. The bleeding heart under the window glistens and shimmers with the rain drops that seem to live on its foliage.

Ug for more Mini sadness

Alas, my friends as returned to using my Mini after its "repair" --in two days it was back to its old problem...so I am back on the email exchange with my guy at Dell to "work it out." That being said, all the energy it takes to copy files, make adjustments etc. is unbelievable to me. It can't be what is most important in life--but it sure interrupts your life when things aren't working right. So that is my little sb story.

Beyond that the garden is dripping wet and the grass grows an inch a minute. My reclining Buddha is ensconsed with little white flowers...The lilac trees is huge with purple blooms and the bleeding hearts are huges with little pink and white hearts. The wisteria is suddenly blooming over the gate and the white dogwood is floating white in the gray sky. I look. I study it. But, there is no getting out there on a day so wet as this. Tomorrow.

Returning to life

Ahhh...I can breath again, mostly....I am an actual up and running human once again. Chest crud-bronchitis-sinus-yuckies be gone with you! And while I was flat out on the couch (so to speak, because we actually have a couch to short for that position unless you are a Corgi or a Wilbur-cat) Spring has actually started to spring!

I have pictures of blooming Bleeding Hearts and little purply-blue things I never remember the name of but they live right under our lilac tree and I always miss them because I am looking up to see how the buds are doing on the tree.

The pictures will have to wait a bit because I have not yet downloaded them. Right in the middle of being to sick-to-live, my new little Dell Inspiron Mini came in the post! My sweet baboo set it all up and moved my programs and files (and boy oh boy Save Settings means nothing in this world--what a pain.) So I am in the process of working out all the typical and one unusual bug to be "back-to-normal" in the realm of computers. But I will tell you one thing: I Love My MINI. It is so small and itty-bitty I really can take it anywhere--and now that I am alive again, I will be going places again.

I am almost tired of multiple layers

• My mind is a bit of a jumble...some good-some chaos-some lost things trying to return?
• It is still cold and windy here in Washington
• I am so thankful for my crock pot full simmering with chicken soupy-stew
• A friend dropped off home made bread to go with our quiet evening
• Almost every part of me aches...partly the weather and partly the last few days
• My garden has hopes it will be Spring soon....soonish?
• The lilac tree is heavy with buds and bulbs are up and blooming despite the cold--it's what they do--I just don't know why
• Sad to see my beautiful blue pot with a 3 year-old hardy fuchsia is a swimming pool
• I finished a mystery last night and I get to start a new book tonight! Love it!
• I think my sleep was actually disturbed by the movie we watched last night...The Changeling...very well cast, very well done--very disturbing.

Okay dear blog, sorry I've been scattered lately. I am sure soon things will regain some normalcy around here and I will be more regular and have more energy for being thoughtful. But I know I am not alone in the feeling of depletion these last days...the dragging feeling, the feeling of too much-ness is hanging on many. There are some bright spots here and there. Thankfully.

one last week of January

As of Friday night at 6:03pm we had heat! The only one in the family unhappy with this is--yes you guessed it, the cat who had to give up living with the standing heater, come out of the bedroom and resume living in the rest of the house. I can tell you for myself it was hard to leave the next morning knowing I would be gone all day...I just wanted to enjoy the house coming to life again...and curl up one the couch in the living room and read a book. Alas, I had an event to go to.

I can see from right here at my desk that the lilac tree has amazing buds showing already. I can also see that little flakes of snow are skirting here and there through the air. It is brittle cold out, but already buds are showing and bulbs are sending up shoots--I saw those by the front door. These signs of new growth make me itch to get outside--to see the yard come alive again, the white dogwood tree burst into bloom. I have learned I must be attentive to see it--this bursting forth can happen in an instant and then I find myself thinking, "when did all this happen?"

Well, too soon for me to be outside--with heat restored I can return more easily to my work up in the Nook. I can get back to some creative collage, some cards I've wanted to make and yes, to cleaning out the closet and reorganizing. But mostly to some regular moments set aside for creativity. Journals in need of some attention...additions here and there...scraps of paper, my beloved found ephemera and little photos....there is one last week of January to finish creating my 101 Things in 1001 Days list too!

Buddha? What Buddha?

Since it snowed all yesterday, and all night...this is what happened to Buddha.
On the other hand Sarah made it from Virginia all the way to Seattle yesterday!! Yeah!! And she made it out of the airport and home!! Yeah!!
This is likely to be the strangest Christmas on record for a while. We may not see a true in person gathering of loved ones until 2009.

The wind was persistent. The leaves were skating across the top of the thick snow in our backyard. The bird feeder had but an inch of sunflower seeds frozen into the feeder. The birdies had to work hard at loosening each seed embedded in snow from all sides.

I decided it was too cold to go outside to take pictures so I took a trip from window to window to explore what was what--before letting the Edward and Wilbur out. This was one of my favorite views--that also brought, "uh-oh" to my lips. (I meant to empty the water and move the rocks earlier in October....oops)

Being frozen in a day or so is a treat...beyond that we must go retrieve coffee.

a river of yellows and golds

I walked around the neighborhood the other day. Some of our trees are still holding onto their colors--or moving through them more slowly. A few of my favorite trees we particularly, and surprisingly, still vibrant. Sadly, it was not the right light to capture them.

As I read my little tidbit in Gunilla's book (see 11/17 post) this morning this quote found me: "We know that winterkill will come, the life kill, the unexpected. It is good to prune, to cut back to essentials, to where life really is, where it can be sustained when the comes. It is painstaking and so very slow."